So I am really going with Donald to the dance and I guess I am going to miss out on Youth Convention this year, bummer. Why does everything have to be so confusing and frustrating but that’s what makes life interesting I guess.

I had my first piano lesson yesterday. I am so glad I chose my tutor over some fancy overpriced guy who teaches piano at the music store. I bought some really good piano books to go along with the homework that my tutor gave me. I bought a piano book on Coldplay songs, I really want to play their song Clocks one day. I also found a really good piano book for older learners so it’s not so kiddy like.

I think I am going to start running whenever I can. I am a little irritated because even though I am not fat I am not that fast or athletic as I used to be. I’ve walked twenty miles as a work out but running is entirely different. I tried it yesterday and I get tired every two hundred feet. Yes, I know that’s sad and Cathy laughed at it but one day I know I will surpass her and laugh.

I talked to Jake recently and I am very irritated at him. So he now has some sort of infection because of his tattoos he got. His liver is failing and he is simply giving up on life and drinking and smoking away. Which I think is the most stupid thing ever. Just because your liver is failing doesn’t mean you can’t fix it, it isn’t too late and I offered to help him. He simply said no, it doesn’t matter and I don’t care. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately but he is so self-destructive and pessimistic. I don’t even bother to call him at all since he got his phone back.

I am kind of worried if my grandma will get me the right thing for my birthday/graduation/Christmas gift. I said I was saving up for a laptop and so I hope she sends me money and not a laptop she choose. I am anxious and I can only hope that it is enough money.

For her birthday I got her scrapbooking stuff, to make it easier on her so she can get back into it. I hope she likes that. Oh the world is so confusing. I really want to get a job.

I went to the doctors for my Acne and they prescribed me antibiotics. So far it is kind of working but regardless the acne is going to go this year.

The next few weeks are going to be busy. I have about the next six weeks filled up with things I can do. I am so excited! Well I am still torn between Youth Convention and Homecoming but Donald asked me to go to homecoming with him so I might just go to that instead of Youth Convention. Plus I guess I promised Cathy to go to the next dance coming up since I missed Tolo with her last year.

It isn’t for sure because last year for homecoming Donald was supposed to take his cousin with him, but couldn’t because he had a confirmation retreat to go to. So he wanted to make it up to her and bring her to this one but from what he told me was it isn’t looking good with her, things are coming up and he wants to go with me. I said yes and I hope everything works in my favor. Cathy is sad because she thinks I’m not going to go out and eat with her, and that I would eat with him and his senior friends. I am going to wait for his MySpace reply to how likely this is going to be, so I can plan.

My childhood friend Chris invited me to go to his homecoming which is going to happen next weekend, on the seventeenth. Chris isn’t planning anything well though because he wants me, Michael, my sister and Kevin to go but you need one guess pass per person. Meaning, he has to get his friends to all pitch in and it’s just so complicated! Michael is also a senior this year and wants to enjoy going to all the dances now so his homecoming is going to be on the eighteenth, the day after Chris’s homecoming.

Cathy’s birthday party follows the week after and I haven’t found her an awesome birthday present yet. I found her the perfect card a long time ago. This year I want to make it up with her because since my mom penny pinches a lot, I noticed I get her gay gifts. This year will be different!

On the lighter note, I am now enrolled in piano lessons by the same person who tutored me in Math. I am really excited because I haven’t seen her in forever and I kind of want her to see my awesome room. So I am looking forward to that, my first lesson starts tomorrow at Friday.

I am halfway through the first twilight book and so far it’s alright. I think there is far too much hype than there should be. The other day I was checking out Shelfari reviews on Twilight and there were two sides. The first side loves it and thinks it’s so amazing but the second side, has read multiple vampire novels and says it isn’t that great. I think I will be the second group of people because I have read vampire novels before and to be honest it isn’t as great as other things I’ve read.

I also just found out that it has been squid jigging season for a while now. So I want to get a group together before it’s over, so far I have a few people in mind. I am thinking of getting it done sometime this month if I can.

I’ve been trying to stay productive I guess. I am kind of losing motivation to work. I am thinking of straight up getting a job, which is against what my parents want for me because they want me to focus on school. I know, I can do both easily. It shouldn’t be too hard because I know how to manage my time. I am just so sick of not getting what I need to do my work. Do they set it up this way?

How am I supposed to study if they are so loud! How can I exercise without jogging pants? Let’s give you piano lessons without the piano! It’s like they want me to get out and do things with nothing. They are so cheap sometimes. Since summer is over it is getting cold and my mother can’t entirely comprehend that you can’t run with shorts in the cold, but she says “oh, you’ll warm up” and I say no, because I will get tired faster of trying to heat up and run at the same time. Wow, my house is so stupid and I can’t wait to leave. I am tired of feeling cut short, with everything.

Well, on the lighter note I finished typing up my New Year’s Resolution for 2009 and I kept my goals very realistic. I hope to go to the observatories with Alex next year, if my parents will let me. Speaking of Alex I am going to have to debate if I can continue to be his friend or not. He does quite a bit of witchcraft and it doesn’t give me a good feeling. I am not trying to be biased and say I only hang out with people of my own religion but I get this really bad aura around him. Plus I know he is in contact with demons, which doesn’t make me any more comfortable. I know my some-and-some of the spiritual world and I do know if you do things like that long enough, you can be possessed. Which I feel is only a matter of time for him. Even when you’re possessed, the demon can pass from person to person so if I am with him I can pick stuff like that up. Plus, he has been annoying me so much lately. I think next time I feel my spirit energy being drained again I will break it off without a second thought and just go with someone who appreciates the stars as much as I do. Maybe Justin?

Youth Convention is coming up again this year! It’s weird because Homecoming falls on the same weekend. I was discussing with some of my friends about this and we said that Homecoming is the weird one because it’s supposed to be earlier. Cathy has been wondering which one I’d choose and I told her honestly I can probably make it to both. After thinking about it, realistically and optimistically, I knew I could make it to both because Youth Convention is Friday, Saturday and Sunday while Homecoming is only a few hours on Saturday. What pissed me off was she was telling me what I can and can’t do, which is very rude. So to prove her wrong I got a group together that is going to both Homecoming and Youth Convention. It is only a few days till this group is final. I’m happy but I am still a little ticked about it, that’s so rude!

My friend Chris Losada invited me to his homecoming too! I haven’t seen him in ages since he moved. So he wanted to do a little get together with his old friends who would include me, Michael, my sister and Kevin. I am excited but he isn’t planning this well at all. I am trying my hardest to help out but I am going to pull a lot of strings to make this happen. It seems like a lot of people are clueless about planning things now-a-days.

Well, my eighteenth birthday is coming up soon and I am pretty excited. I will be legal but I will not do anything stupid like clubbing and drinking. I don’t know how people my age think like that. People have been asking me, since your legal now what are you going to do? All I say is vote and they get all weirded out and ask no drinking, clubbing, tattoos or gambling? Nope, just voting and the occasional sip of my red wine but that’s about it. I wouldn’t get drunk; I can’t afford to lose any brain cells. Just because you are now able to do so many things doesn’t mean you should. People are so silly these days.

I haven’t written in a really long time. To be honest I think I have been holding it back because I don’t really want people to know what I’ve really been up to. This sounds so childish of me but I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want people to think oh, she is “this” kind of person. In the sense, I do like getting help with my problems, from my readers but I do like some things to be private. I know there are settings where you can control, who see’s what but I am an all-or-nothing kind of person. Meaning I’ll go down one way and I stick to it. What I really feel right now is to lock up my Xanga entirely, and open it publicly again maybe a few years from now.

So here are some a few, breif reasons why I do want to lock it up. I am getting way to personal about myself on here, which is somewhat the point of blogging. Although there are some people who use it for entertainment reasons. I feel like not everything about me is up to read about. I don’t feel comfortable to rambling about my personal life to an audience I don’t know or cannot see. Although most of my friends I have made on here are very lovely and helpful to me sometimes. I also have a few people in my life who like to copy off of me. Like, what I am into and what I know that no one else does, technology wise and my life philosoplys or anything. I don’t mind being used as a reffrence but to copy the entirety of me is absurd, obsessive and very stalker like. I don’t mean the people on Xanga doing this, I mean people around me that I know. I just need time to be alone for a while and I will hopfully open up my site again.

So that’s all for now I suppose. I have to admit my Xanga is going to pretty empty without all my friends.

I am most likely going to start the lock-up on October 1^st.

I am open minded so if you don’t want to be locked out or really want to stay then message or comment.

I am happily enrolled in my memory classes at The School of Phenomenal Memory. For people who aren’t familiar with mnemonics, it is simply a memory aid. So I paid about three hundred for an online class of modern mnemonics. There are about 59 lessons and each lesson takes about two hours each. If you’re stuck there are always people to help on the mnemonics forum. I love it and I’m ready to dig into it but the thing is that the computers in the house are all placed in high traffic areas. Meaning, I can never get enough peace and quiet to do what I need.

So I have been thinking about getting a laptop for my education needs. So I have been looking around for what is best for me. I generally want a laptop with pretty good battery life, part gamer laptop that is durable and reliable. I want a laptop that won’t die with my massive collection of pictures, music and games. If it lives though the first six months it is a champion! So I narrowed down my options. I don’t like HP computers at the moment because the best one they have to offer is to glossy that I have a hard time seeing the screen. I know because Cathy has one. I also do not like Dell at all because I have been dramatized by them in the past. They have great customer service, the best but they didn’t work much on the product in the past. Also I want something reasonably priced, as much as I’d love Alienware. They are just really up there and possibly more than I really need for college. My choice is a Sony Vaio CR which is their sleek sexy, reasonably priced and a good college and storage laptop, for all my junk. I hope I made a good choice and I hope this lasts long. Now the trickier question is what color should I get it in? This is such a girl problem ha-ha! I’m stuck between gold and pink.



Other than that things have been on the bright side. My dad has a job at Boeing but that means he had to take my comfy bed and I was stuck on the queen bed. I’m a simple person who doesn’t need fancy basics. I like my bed firm so I am now happily sleeping on the floor and I no longer have any sleeping problems what-so-ever. I think it’s amazing!

So I read this page on Xanga’s Datingish which perfectly describes a situation I always get in. I meet a interesting guy, that I kind of like and he doesn’t get far because I find that he doesn’t have the core qualities of a future husband. This situation is confusing as heck because you can’t have both, I don’t think you can. Can’t I meet a guy with a good mix of both? Ah well, I hope.

The thing is about a “bad boy” is that there is instant attraction and it lasts a little while until, you’re like, where is this going to end up? He has no motivation to be successful, he is lazy but you usually love him more than the “good boy”. Now, the “good boy” is amazing because he has everything you look in a potential partner but it’s boring and predictable. Is it that girls really want what they can’t have?

Cathy asked a question, “Would you date a guy you’re in love with but doesn’t value education or a smart guy who you’re not in love with”. Well I do the first one but I really mean the second one. Seriously if a guy cannot value education and have some sort of a drive to do something wonderful, then screw them. I mean that as with my whole heart. Guys without education or guys that don’t value it and just do it to get by, in my experience, hold the most boring conversations ever. It is really stupid because I am there rambling away about my passions in life while they are dead silent and cannot relate in the slightest.

Anyways I think my generally ending conclusion to this problem is, as much as a “bad boy” is wonderful and a thrill to be around. As I said earlier in my Bachelorette entry, they can never bring you security and comfort. Just the thrill and what you think is love in the beginning but it seems like even if I say that, I sometimes get into that situation. I think it’s just a passing phase though. No worries! In the end I want to be with a wonderful guy with his head on straight that loves me. Those are so hard to find though but I will always remain optimistic!

This summer I used my time very wisely and I feel very accomplished and pulled in the direction that I have wanted to go for so long. I don’t know if I already wrote about this but I’ve been done with Math WASL Prep classes for a while. It helped me out a lot but I have an issue with asking people for help when it comes to anything, so I didn’t learn as much as I could. I am going to try to break that habit because it’s so hard holding up on my own sometimes.
I also got my graduating certificate from my Driver’s ED course. Since I am turning eighteen here real soon I can skip my intermediate license and go straight to the actual license. I am very excited!

I took my GED tests recently and I haven’t got my results yet but I hope I passed.

My mother made a deal with me that when I pass I can finally take my memory courses! She also says when my dad gets a job and I am still good, which I am. Then I can get my phone upgraded and get unlimited text. I was thinking of getting the Blackberry Pearl but I am thinking twice because Melissa showed me the phone she wants, which is the Blackberry Curve and I have to admit it is sexier than my choice. We also think the same and like the same things anyway so I might go with her choice.

                     

I also took my Math WASL test and I am sure hoping I pass and they will accept my test. I was talking to my new friend that I met and we just couldn’t stop talking. I know that’s immature but the teachers could of separated us or tell us to be quiet. So the whole time I thought we weren’t much of a disturbance during the test and the teacher said our test might be rejected. So if it is, Nikki and I are going to be irritated and ask why they couldn’t simply separate us. Goodness, I am not a bad kid! Sometimes I slip up.

My cousin for the Philippines visited us for about two weeks and it was nice having her here. While she was here we went to the Pacific Science Center and a whole bunch of other fun places to go to. She is leaving tonight though. I am glad she really enjoyed her stay here in America and I hope she can get a job as a nurse here.
My other cousins are moving and I am really sad. They are going to move to Texas because they can get a bigger house for cheaper as well as a good job.

There is a week of summer left so I am making the most of it. I am scheduling a lot of sleepovers and I have yet to go to the zoo. Whoo-hoo!