October 20, 2011
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Embers And Envelopes
So it’s been a while since I have updated my page. I am going to go through with getting my associates in paralegal because I seriously can’t think of anything that I would be better fitted as. The only thing that makes me really skeptical is the possibility of always working overtime all the time to meet work deadlines. I want to have a job where I work mostly eight hours a day and overtime is optional or a rare circumstance. Regardless, I figure I don’t know anything until I get one thing done and education is something that no one can take away from you and that you can always build upon.
School wise, I am in the fourth week of college taking sixteen credits while I work full time. I feel fantastic because I get to work sixteen hour shifts on Mondays and Fridays, the Fridays alternate with Saturday. I go to school on Tuesday for thirteen hours and Thursday for about eight. I have A’s in all my classes currently but I am worried about my Technical Writing class. One of our projects we have to interview someone in the field that we are working towards and I interviewed my advisor which was not allowed. Normally I wouldn’t feel guiltily but the thing is my advisor gave me really bad answers to my questions. L One of the questions I asked was “what inspired you to be a paralegal?” she answered “I was bored as a secretary so I went back to school”. She does not seem very passionate about being a paralegal and has a very pessimistic view about it. From what I understand about it, it seems like my current job (nurse’s aide) where you take a lot of bullshit and smile except for I will be getting paid a lot better. Haha!
As for my love life, I gave one last attempt to make it work which I don’t know if I should have done that or not. I gave my boyfriend what I thought would be my last letter. In the letter it described my long term goals that I had for the relationship and that I was very upset that we wouldn’t be able to achieve those goals. The highlights of the letter were when I said I do not nag without a cause and that I “nag” to keep stay on track with our relationship/life progress. I told him that he is the dreamer and I am the planner (although I tend to do both) and that he needs to realize when he says something I make it happen. Also, I explained I do not want to change him when it comes to his smoking but I get rid of things that are hurting our relationship.
The letter was successful, too successful. Now he wants to “make a future with me” he wants me to move in with him ect. The only problem I have with that is I wanted to carefully plan moving out so I wouldn’t be unstable and move back in with my parents. I want to move out once and never come back because most people do that and it is such a waste of time.
I know that I need to move out by the summer which was my original goal but I don’t think moving in with him would be the best idea. I would move in with a friend but the problem with that is either my friends have too many pets or they have kids which would be an added distraction. I don’t need those things in my life right now.
I need to talk to him soon about all these things that are running though my mind.
We write to apologize.
We ask to look past life as it goes by.
I know you have sacrificed time,
life, love, time to fly.
Please consider all things trite,
forgiveness will be the thing that gets us by.
I know to have something like this
broken is hard to fix.Embers, we’re burning bridges down.
Envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.We write to patch things up,
maybe not to agree but to proclaim love.
Let’s look ahead and then we’ll see the One
whose glory never ends.
And based on that we’ll see,
there’ll be room for change, but gradually.
I know to have something like this
broken is hard to fix.If all is said and done and over,
if we don’t have to, we’re not going to.
Make the change, it’s worth the try.
What’s broken can be fixed tonight.
