March 2, 2009
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Out Of Place
Quick thanks to Theseus51 for motivating me for writing an entry. Well, life has been life. I have ups and downs and I usually have my blogs to vent. That’s why it seems like I am usually angry or depressed. I just want to let you know that I am truly not a moody person in real life; I am actually really calm because my Xanga keeps me pretty sane. I have this dilemma that I don’t like constantly venting towards other people because I may give out a wrong impression or something. I wouldn’t like to be seen as a complaining or gossiping person, so I keep my mouth shut most of the time and type it out. I do have people that I like venting towards but I find that it is best to type things down to keep record of my life in general and maybe people might get tired of what I have to say, who knows?
Life has been good! I am almost a Certified Nursing Assistant, I graduate on March 20th assuming that I pass the final exam. I am really thankful that Kristen reminded me of my original plan to go into health occupations because I forgot that this was what I wanted to do if I couldn’t find anything else. I would much rather be a banker but I don’t think that would have been the smartest thing to do during the economy. I did get a little bit discouraged during my classes because I felt my classmates were picking on me all the time, reminding me that I am tiny. When we had Lab we were practicing moving patients around with a gait belt and I couldn’t lift my partner who was pretending to be a patient, which made me feel out of place. I got over it because my teacher is pretty much as small as I am and most places have hoisters to lift patients. Another thing that got to me was, I was one of the youngest people in the class but also that I wasn’t married, had kids and/or wasn’t on welfare. I am glad because I rather not make stupid choices and worry about making a family until I am financially stable. When I am doing my clinicals I feel that time is short. The majority of the people at the rehab center is old and makes me think that one day I will be in their place. When I shared this with my classmates, they stared at me puzzled and asked “How old are you again?” and it doesn’t matter how old I am, I feel that time will always sip though our fingers and before we can grasp how much we’ve lost, it’s gone. Regardless, I think I should just keep my big mouth shut to my deeper thoughts.
I am enjoying the New Year; I have used my time productively and kept to my resolutions so far. I really like how far I have come in my life and I feel that I have so much more to go. I feel ahead in the sense that I am thinking ahead when it comes to the economy, by choosing a recession proof occupation but behind, in the sense that I need to work on my Math more. Unlike most of the people that Jamison says is in his G.E.D prep class, I am not going to avoid the truth and keep denying that I don’t need help. Like Jamison, I have accepted reality and I am going to face my weak points head on.
I’ve also started helping out at the library like I wanted to. I met this nice lady named Leigh Ann who is in charge of the events that goes on at the library. It’s great because there are so many things that I can do for her to help her out. She seems really thankful she has an older person like me to supervise the other kids.
More to catch you up on but I’ll write later.
