October 4, 2007
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I Love Monkeys
Gosh, I have the longest fuse ever! I don’t understand how I have the patience to put up with my mother every single day! My mother keeps complaining how she doesn’t like her job, her reasons are really dumb and her work isn’t that hard. Why is she so whiny? I have to keep up school work with all the ridiculous chores and other crazy things she makes me do at last second. I haven’t gotten any good sleep lately so I haven’t had the energy to do anything more than my school work, give me a break! I get yelled at before cleaning, during cleaning and after cleaning when I do a spotless job. My dad praises me for doing such a spectacular job and she just gets mad.
I don’t think my mother is ready for the “real world” and I don’t even think she is ready for anything. She makes herself sound busy all the time and she drags me into her chores. She can’t drive by herself meaning, someone HAS to drive with her. I have to stop my life, no matter what I am doing for her sake. No, I don’t have a choice. I just get a lot of negative crap from her. She is slowing down my life! I want a lot of school work with time to hang out with my friends. Time is flying by fast and if I continue living in this house then I will never grow. I honestly haven’t grown to be a better person while under this roof and I am really losing all motivation completely but I won’t let myself give up now!
I can almost taste freedom. I dream about it all the time. My ultimate lifestyle is a happy productive one which is the opposite of where I am now. I will continue to work hard, keep dreaming and slowly inch my way closer to my dreams. I am going to graduate next year even if I have to kill myself with studying. I have to keep my motivation going because I am slowly loosing it. I will be taking my drivers permit this Sunday and I will have the house spotless tomorrow so on Friday my dad can come to a spotless clean house.
I am happy that I slept well for two days. I also got some really weird dreams that seemingly circle around Rickey, but why? I won’t go into depth because it’s pretty mundane but he did kiss me on the cheek and it felt weird. Cathy and Donald think he is an ugly monkey that may be true except for the ugly part. Last night when I was on the phone with Cathy, I realized I tend to like monkey people, like Rickey. She also thinks that monkeys are stupid, pathetic and weak and I come in to “mother” monkey people. I just now noticed that. It’s so fun putting people as animals. Cathy thinks I’m a horse. I guess I kind of look like a horse type person and the funny thing is my Chinese zodiac and my horoscopes revolve around horses. I am a Sagittarius, and it is a half horse/man person, also known as Centaurs’. I was also born in the year of the horse, fancy that.
Thank God Microsoft word has an unlimited undo button. I just erased everything and just got it back!
I gave Donald his Birthday Card on Monday and his face was priceless! Oh my goodness, I love myself sometimes. Cathy and I are getting ready for the homecoming on the 13th and we already have most things planed out. We have about ten or more people in our party group and we are going to eat at the Panda Inn. I want to go shopping for my dress sometime soon, if not, then I will wear a cute brown dress, I guess. Michael has been coming to me for his problems and I am glad. He might visit this weekend! There is no school on Monday for Columbus Day, hooray for that! December 3rd is when SSMBB will be coming out! I feel lucky this year for our church, we hired two couples to help with our youth group and they seem to be a lot of fun! We played the “Baby, I love you” game and it was hilarious! Sensei called on me out of nowhere today! I was so happy! I am also becoming mute, seriously. I don’t even bother to speak anymore I find it entirely pointless sometimes. I am starting to keep more things in my head or on paper or something, it’s really weird.
