July 16, 2008

• Math WASL Prep

  So it’s been a while since I have actually talked about my life. There is so much going on its pretty insane. I am done with drivers ED now but I still need to do a few make up tests, two I think. I also need to finish up my driving hours; I am currently finished up to drive five out of ten. The next drive is on the Tuesday the twenty-ninth at 4:00 to 6:00. I am actually a pretty good driver though there are some things I have to work on. I hope I graduate this, and get my certificate; it isn’t over until I get that.
  
  I am taking Math WASL prep classes now. I passed all parts of the WASL except Math so I am taking this class to help me out. It is ok so far, I am somewhat embarrassed because I think the teacher thinks I am not trying my hardest. She is really nice, but once you’re on her bad side she will keep picking on you, it sucks. I’ve taken three classes so far and these classes are going to continue up until August fourteenth. Anyways, embarrassed myself because I’ve been late for all of the classes so far but it isn’t entirely my fault. The first day I was late, with everyone else because no one knew where they were going. The system they had was flawed, because there were four Math WASL prep classes and I couldn’t find my class so I was about twenty minutes late. Yesterday I do take responsibility for being late but today I was late because they were doing road construction. Tomorrow will be different, I will be on time, I promise. It is really nice seeing a few of my friends at school. Like I saw Rickey the day before yesterday and he is the same bubbly monkey as ever, that hasn’t changed much.
  
  It caught me off guard because he asked me if I am going to Olympic High School full time and I was truly speechless. If I speak my mind, and say no, it would be weird to him and anyone else he would tell about what I am going to do with my life. I just told him anyway, that I am planning on graduation high school early; there is no point in sticking around. Although high school is fun and cool and all, it isn’t as cool as actually getting out there and living life. So I pretty much owned him on that but he still begged a tiny bit for me to stay, but I still refused.
  
  I am nervous going though with my GED, excited but nervous. I know everything will be ok and work out, it always does. I just wish everyone else can understand what I am getting at and all my reasons why I am going to go through with this.
  
  I am also getting my wisdom teeth pulled pretty soon here. Next Thursday is my surgery and I have mixed feelings about it. I would loved to get them pulled because I have to admit my mouth is really sore and those teeth are collecting some dirt that is causing me some bad breath but I don’t want the pain, suffering and bleeding that comes with it. I don’t intend on talking for about the next three weeks after that surgery. I am really glad I had a talk about this with some of my friends, like Robert, that really helped. I remember him saying, screw what the doctor says! Don’t move your mouth if you don’t have to and keep the food away from the gum they pulled it out of. You’ll get food stuck in there and if you keep moving your stitches will fall out and it hurts like heck when they sew it back on. Yeah, thanks Rob. Another reason why I am debating to go back to school is there is a Japan trip this upcoming school year; I’d like to go with all my friends and meet up with Rob or something while I’m there. Since he went back to Japan I haven’t seen him on MSN because of massive time zone differences.
  
  Speaking of travel, my grandmother on my mom’s side died recently, about four days ago. So she left for the Philippines right away, she left yesterday I think. Though, I wish people would hold their sincere apologies, I wasn’t that close to her so I will just take a normal apology. My mom will be gone for about two weeks to plan the funeral. Since she will be gone, my father and I are taking the time to go though the house and trash useless junk that we don’t use. Today we actually cleaned out the whole fridge, stopping all mold in its tracks and throwing out about four garbage bags out of moldy or expired food. This house dramatizes me very much. I hope to have a garage sale for all our junk, hopefully before summer ends and fall starts.
  
  I kind of have a craving to dye my hair. I was thinking of purple tinting but no one understands how elegant it looks, “elegant” not ghetto. Purple is an extremely pretty color and it isn’t going to be bright purple or anything, just a tint of purple. We will see if I can get it tinted when my mother comes back or something. Also there is the issue of money, although my dad has many job offers, they are all too far away. The commute is insane and he rather not put up with it. A job close to home is something he is looking for. I am getting a little worried because of our economy and such; I wouldn’t want to end up like Megan although I see that becoming more of a reality day-by-day but I remain optimistic.
  
  So I’ve been thinking about my love life, as usual. I think I came to a temporary conclusion. I think I need to focus more on my life, and my dreams and goals, and continue putting them in action. As conceited as that sounds, my life really needs to get a move on. It’s been slugging along for far too long and this is my one last shot to get where I want to go. I broke up with Jerry on Friday and I intend to keep it that way for a while and see what time tells about him. The thing he told me yesterday I am really iffy about. A couple of BS flags went up as he said that. I talked to some friends about it and we all came to the conclusion that, it is fact that he over exaggerated, but whether we are over analyzing, this could be a little thing he did that isn’t as big as we think it is, or something really massive that’s hinting me in the long run. Only time will tell, I am patient.
  
  As for Jake, there are so many mixed things. I guess I’ve always liked him and genuinely looked up to him a lot because he works hard and I would say generally optimistic for the terrible situation that he was dealt with. I think I am going to let everything just sit. I also gave him my Xanga a couple of nights ago and he made his own which is awesome.
  
  In some ways I kind of regret giving it to him, because I just need a place for my head, where I cannot be disturbed. I also came to the conclusion, that I have problems like everyone else and that’s ok. I know for sure, by now I have overcame my past and there isn’t anything to seriously wrong with me. I am kept with the happy thought that will never happen again, I know better now. Writing my thoughts and feelings out is probably one of the things I used to get better, to remember my mistakes, analyze them and learn from them. I can say, unlike most people, I know who I am, how I think, how the outcome to something will be before it even happens because I know myself well, possibly to well. I think I am ok with people around me knowing who I am but it is best that I tell them who I am, rather than them reading about me. I feel it’s best that way. I know I am not afraid to let people know the real me but it comes a little bit at a time. I’m in no rush.
  

  
  This is my life
  It’s not what it was before
  All these feelings I’ve shared
  And these are my dreams
  That I’d never lived before
  
  All the mistakes,
  One life contained
  They all finally start to go away
  Now that we’re here it’s so far away
  And I feel like I can face the day
  I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today
  
  These are my words
  That I’ve never said before
  I think I’m doing ok
  And this is the smile
  That I’ve never shown before
  Somebody shake me
  Cause I, I must be sleeping 

  • 2:09 pm
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