March 1, 2012
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Frustrations in Math
It’s not new news that I suck at math. This is a lifelong on-going process that is still on my ass. Today I saw an adviser on the college I am going to be transferring to for my associates as a paralegal. I was excited and proud of myself for all the good grades I have and everything I have accomplished so far as a working student. I know that I needed to start on my math last quarter but I was scared to re-enter my fears of failure.
We found the college and the advising center just fine, I waited my turn in line and I finally saw the adviser I was waiting for a long time to see. Everything was going just nicely I completed everything that I needed to complete in my time frame. She was writing out my classes on the transfer requirements and she asked me what classes I was taking this quarter. I told her what I was taking and threw math in there. I let her know it was a low level math that wasn’t at college level and that I have a hard time in math and I am working towards improving it.
Automatically her attitude towards me changed. It seemed that she was personally looking down on me and that I wasn’t going to make it, or something? I don’t know but she didn’t act like she did before. She seemed to come off as a nag when she referred to my math level. I guess to put it frankly she acted like I shouldn’t be at this college but whatever. She can’t determine my success or my failures. Underestimating me has turned out to be successful for anyone at any given point in time. Regardless, even if it takes a little time I will prove her wrong.
Also, I have come to the realization that entering in the second part of my math class (math90B) may not be successful for my needs. I feel that in my class there are parts that I work really fast and efficiently but there are other parts where I am seriously lost. I need some personal tutoring, again. I will not go back to that other tutor who did not specialize in math but I will pick someone new.
I messaged the new tutor tonight and I hope to receive a response within the next few weeks. I am pretty sure this is a more effective way to get the direction I need to go. I wish I was smarter in math, among other things. I feel so stupid sometimes.
