February 13, 2012

  • I’m Giving Up Slowly

    I honestly don’t know what is wrong with my head right now. I am in school and I have everything to be happy about in life. Yet I am so uninspired to do my homework and push forward with my future goals. I think that maybe when I was with Michael and I pushed myself to my max limits for four months with the goal to move out (which was supposed to be this month) to watch it blow up in my face. It’s like I just got done with the worst war ever and I barely got out alive and now I can’t move forward until I recover. I have no time to recover though. My life is very time sensitive and big plans need to happen now now now!

    I pride myself in all my hard work and providing for someone. I felt like everything I just did within the last year was all for nothing. I feel that the people around me aren’t sensitive enough to see that I need some affection. I want to have times with my friends and share a good laugh but we are all busy and all don’t have time. It seems like no one goes out of their way for me like I do for them… I don’t know.

    I feel lonely perhaps but I know this is only a temporary feeling. I hope it gets better though. I am not ready for a relationship by all means. I need to get back up to speed…

    I wish I knew how to be myself again.

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