December 3, 2011
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You Don’t Validate Me
Right now I am depressed and I can’t get anything done even though I know I have a million and one things to do. I am so upset from today and yesterday that the words my mother and sometimes my father chooses to describe me as can be really hurtful.
Yesterday my dad called me lazy because I got up at the last second to meet my study group at school but I was late only because I couldn’t find food. Personally I think that I wasn’t even lazy because I am on my way to school and I woke up at nine to get there at ten. Before I left I couldn’t find anything to eat and I didn’t have any time to cook anything. There was no more instant college student food (i.e. hot pockets, banana) and I bolted out the door to make it to my study group. I was bitching about how there is no food, all the fruit is rotten and how hungry/pissed off I was. Thankfully my dad apologized about saying I was lazy.
Because of the lack of listening in this house hold she brought me food to work when I wasn’t even there and I was irritated she didn’t bring me more food than she did. My mom is just a hopeless hopeless woman who is very inconsiderate and obviously does not care about me even though she really truly convinces herself that she does in her head. [I know this is a run-on sentence]
I am going to summarize now because I am getting fed up with this topic. My dad had a talk with me today saying that I am a lying and dishonest person for stupid reasons. I obviously got upset. I went into my mom’s room a little later and I asked her about something I overheard a few days ago. I heard her say quietly downstairs that I am a sneaky person. When I asked her what she meant by that she said that I asked for account information to one of my bank accounts because she ASSUMED I was going to access it and withdraw money from it.
People, stop being asses, don’t you know assuming makes an ass out of you and me? This is so grade-school.
My final words are, out of all the people to say negative things to me are coming from the people who are closest to me. I am so irritated that this house brings out the worse in me and I am so depressed right now. I can’t find the will to do anything and I have so much things to do. I hate being misunderstood. I hate how people find all the worst things to say about me. It hurts my feelings and I am at the point where I just don’t give a shit. I don’t need YOUR words to validate me.
